I think I’m finally ready to talk.

I should have known it was going to be an interesting journey when, on my first night in the city, I was welcomed with tornado sirens. I remember lying on a cot in my new apartment thinking, Where’s James Spann?! Thankfully, the weather wasn’t as bad as predicted. One of my first stops in the city was Nothing Bundt Cakes. The sentimentalist in me made sure one of my final stops was there too.

And then things just continued to trend in the most unexpected directions. Kobe. Gigi. Those other precious souls. Floods in the city. Then COVID.

I remember thinking, God, You sent me to Mississippi where I know exactly one person through a mutual friend, and now You’re shutting everything down? You’re really trying to get my attention.

I can’t even pretend it wasn’t scary. There were moments when I thought, What if I get sick here? Who’s coming to take care of me? I was so grateful for every opportunity to escape home to Tuscaloosa whenever possible. There were drives when I barely saw another car on the road. Talk about creepy.

Initially, I only planned to give you two years. My attitude was simple: I can always go home.

After COVID, I thought maybe I should give it another year since we couldn’t really be outside anyway. The next thing I knew, I was buying a house. Things escalate quickly in the ’Sip.

Listen, you gave me lessons that only being a single Black woman in Jackson, Mississippi could provide. At this point, I’m requesting that Jackson State University award me an honorary doctorate for my time in Jackson because I am the case study. I have a lot to share. I can’t say I was always a willing participant, and the same could probably be said about the residents of Jackson as well.

Through your rigorous academic program, I learned a lot about you—and even more about myself.

I can say with confidence that I am leaving as a very different woman.

When I would tell people I lived in Jackson, Mississippi, they often assumed I had family there. Eventually I would explain that I came for a job. No shade to you, Ms. Jackson, but I was trying to create my best life in Georgia.

People also often asked if Mississippi and Alabama were similar. I usually responded that they could be cousins.

Ms. Jackson, you have some amazing people in your city. They are resilient, hopeful, dedicated, and determined. Some of your residents became family over time. I am grateful for every Sunday dinner shared with people who quickly became family. Through the Change Collective, my Jackson family continued to grow. A super special thank you to the Black Women’s Roundtable Ambassadors, the brainchild of Paheadra, and an organization birthed by Mrs. Cassandra. I could keep going about the people I met during my time in Jackson. If our paths crossed you’re now in the archives too. You participated in the case study too! 

You also introduced me to HBCU Saturdays. Shout out to Alcorn and Thee Jackson State University. I was truly introduced to HBCU pride and culture thanks to Tougaloo’s Mother Eagle Queen.

Best Homecoming still goes to Tuskegee. Not up for debate.

I most definitely left with more than what I arrived with.

I am learning to be grateful for every lesson you taught me—again, I was not always a willing participant.

Somewhere along the way, you gave me some of my hardest lessons and some of my greatest gifts. There were losses I never expected and blessings I could not have planned. There were seasons that stretched me, broke me open, and forced me to grow. There were friendships that became family, opportunities that changed my life, and healing that happened quietly when I wasn’t even paying attention. Looking back, I realize that both the heartbreak and the joy were part of the same story.

I wanted this super clean exit. But honestly, why would I expect that after all the lessons taught over six and a half years? You were still testing me during my final hour in the city. Just know it involved a lost car.

The car was eventually located. I will give the dealership a special shout out AFTER I receive my car back. 

Ms. Jackson, if I’m being honest, I’m not entirely sure what comes next. What I do know is that the woman you helped raise will carry these lessons and relationships wherever she goes.

Healings happened in Jackson, Mississippi.

Home. I always knew there would come a time when I would want to go home. I would want to be closer to my village and my family. A lot of life happens in six and a half years. Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to sit down with old friends and catch up. I didn’t realize how much of each other’s lives we had missed simply because we were busy.

Ms. Jackson, I promise I won’t be a complete stranger. I’ll be back, and I’ll proudly represent. But for right now, we need some space.

You did a lot in those final days.

We’ll keep in touch.

With gratitude,

Equil