I said “yes”! Please continue reading. This is not an engagement announcement. My apologies for getting you excited. I know some of you have planned my engagement, wedding…..Hold on to those plans just like I’ve asked God to hold onto my husband for a little while longer. LOL (I’m not really ready as I claim to be). More about that later…maybe.

So I’ve been talking about starting a blog for quite some time now. First it started with a small silent thought. Finally, I started to share with some of my close friends. Close friends who said “oh yeah, I’m holding you accountable”. Meanwhile I continued to talk myself out of starting it. I said I couldn’t think of a catchy name. Then I questioned what I would be willing to share through my blog. I wondered if anyone would read it; would it make a difference to anyone. 

Let me recap two quick moments that happened today.

As I worked, I listened to Pastor Jerry Flowers Therapy Thursdays. The next video that was waiting to load for me was “ I Keep Thinking the Worst”. Please check him out. I promise he got someone recording my daily movements. Per usual, he tapped dance all over my poor little toes. 

He poses the question of “what could you do without thinking of the worst case scenario”. As a person who is challenged by anxiety, I am no stranger to worst case scenario. I have a scenario for every letter of the alphabet. These scenarios run commercial free in my mind daily. He mentioned maybe you’re waiting to write the book or simply being obedient to God. 

I automatically started shaking my head. Like “nope…not again”. This is not the first time being an author has come up in some way. It’s funny that as a child I would pretend that I was a best selling author. I’ve always enjoyed writing and missed when life became too hectic to spend quality time writing.

It really is Therapy Thursday….I had a session with my therapist. Last weekend I spent time reading through some of my old journals. I started a quick list to see if there were any common themes that came up over time. I had a journal from as old as 2009 and as recent as 2021. I didn’t get a chance to finish reviewing all my journals. So my therapist asked me what I planned to do differently since I had successfully identified some cycles. Of course I answered I don’t know. Which she politely reminded me was not an acceptable answer in our sessions. I most definitely rolled my eyes. We have that type of relationship at this point. I told her about how last night I posed a question to myself: what would it be like if I lived differently. Throughout the day answers to this question poured onto my notebook. Somewhere in the course of our session I connected what we were discussing to the Therapy Thursday session I listened to. My therapist starts laughing and rocking. When this happens, she’s excited. Often times I’m not, lol. She said you’ve been talking about you want to hear from God. How many different signs will He have to give you before you say yes? She went on to say she could think of several signs from the past couple of weeks.

I responded as honestly as possible. I told her we knew my lack of listening and obedience was at the core of many things. She pressed and asked what I was afraid of. She reassured me that many successful people who are well known for their various reasons were doubtful starting out as well. We wrapped session with the lingering question of when I will say yes.

It’s funny that I’ve thought about the day I would say yes. I know that as a single woman I’m not the only one who has daydreamed about the moment the one asks to spend the rest of His life with me. Let’s keep it really honest….I’ve thought about it too many times to count. 

Yet, here I am not willing to give God my yes. I just keep telling God to find someone else or I’m not ready. I never thought about how important my yes to God would be. I’ve been given NUMEROUS signs and I’m still like “ummmmm….I think that assignment is for someone else”. One thing about God: He’s patient. He’s even reminded me that His time is not like my time and He doesn’t mind waiting. 

I finally said “yes”. As I drove across the city I quietly said “yes”. I have no idea where my yes will lead. I know He has a plan. This may be the only post on my blog or it might be one of hundreds. I can only tell you that I intend to be honest with several dashes of vulnerability. Believe it or not, the planner in me is scared to even promise you when you can expect another post. One of the reasons I initially said no was because I knew it wouldn’t be perfect. I couldn’t be out here in the grammar streets with run on sentences and missing punctuation. That’s not cute…especially not with the way I critique people’s writing. I don’t have an official editor…..yet! I ask that if you have comments you will post them from a loving and positive place.

Allow me to officially introduce you to the Queen’s Quill. 

The Queen’s Quill…..

This year I have been leaning into recognizing myself as a QUEEN. If you happen to see a picture of me wearing a crown you’ll know why… 

Well this Queen happens to have her own pen.

35 years and some change ago I was named after my great grandmother Ms. Equiller Preston. During one of my late night thought sessions I was reminded that the very base of my name is “quill” which is a writing tool.

God gets the glory! What is God asking you to say “yes” to? Let’s see where my yes leads to….

He is the ultimate author!